Monday, June 30, 2014

And she's back.

Uh oh, I feel a rant post coming on...

It's been too long, so here is a totally unsubstantiated and unwarranted list of things that have been pissing me off recently:

  1. When people post about their run of the mill sickness on Facebook as though they're LITERALLY DYING. This seems to happen more now that a large percentage of my friend list has children. Their house will come down with a stomach bug, and then they're posting requests for prayers and incredibly grave statements that cause other (idiotic) people to voice their deep concern and pleas for more details. They clearly have the flu. Don't enable their theatrics. 
  2. Since I mentioned it, let's move on to the Christian Revival of Facebook and Twitter 2014. Though I personally am not Christian, this is not an anti-Christian sentiment, but simply a plea to stop constantly asking for prayers on Facebook for EVERYTHING. Okay, if your grandma is dying, I get it. Ask for prayers. Whatever. (The issue of lamenting relatives' terminal illness on social media is a totally separate issue that I'm not going to get into.) But when you're applying for a job at Arby's? Not necessary. When you're potty training your cocker spaniel? No. First of all, if I legitimately would like to wish you well, not being of Christian persuasion, this makes me feel incredibly awkward. Do I offer my prayers and feel like a fraud? Do I offer a generic word of encouragement and feel like I'm being judged for not following instructions? It's alienating. And it's also melodramatic. I'm sure if whoever you're praying to is up there listening, he or she is #facepalming at all of these asinine requests. Stand on your own two feet, yo! Also, the #blessed on Twitter? ENOUGH!
  3. Hashtags. I have several separate issues with #hashtags. In any case, can they be done? I'm tired of them. I feel like once they started to be used for comedic value, it took FOREVER for everyone to catch on, so you had people actually (trying) to use hashtags for their original purpose (these people were constantly being mocked), people that were using them ironically, and people who just kept saying "I don't get it!! What are these hashtags??" (see: moms). Now (most) people have caught up with the ironic hashtag fad, and it's over. It's not funny anymore. Cut it out. 
  4. Stupid quotes. I don't really like quotes to begin with. Sure, there are been some truly great things said by truly influential people over time, but more often than not, "quotes" are mis...well...quoted, or completely made up, and a lot of them don't even make sense. For example, someone posted something to the effect of "What comes easy won't last. What lasts won't come easy." Aside from the "that's what she said" effect, this quote is not even remotely true. It is completely, one hundred percent unsubstantiated. Not only that, but it's simply stating the same exact thing twice. This "quote" wasn't even attributed to anyone, probably because NO ONE SAID IT. I don't know who gets to decide what sounds deep, but quit falling for this nonsense. You're better than that, everyone.
  5. Self promotion. Especially in social media, but also just in general. Nothing yucks me out more than when someone who I thought I was relatively good acquaintances with tries to sell me something I didn't ask for. This falls into two categories: people who are trying to sell something legitimate and just don't know how to keep personal and business life separate, and pyramid schemers. The first group is annoying but forgivable; the second group is tragic. I cannot believe that pyramid schemes are still a thing, and yet there's always some yahoo on Facebook trying to recruit people to sell their miracle weight loss product and "go into business for themselves". These people usually don't even realize that they're part of a pyramid scheme, and will absolutely not admit it once it's been explained to them that they clearly are. Obviously they eventually stop advertising whatever they were trying to sell, because (shocker!) they weren't making any money doing it, but they'll usually turn up shortly thereafter trying to sell some other stupid miracle nonsense.
  6. "Bae". I just combusted out of horror for even typing that.

Since I no longer exist, I guess I'm done. JGenc OUT!

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