Saturday, October 13, 2012

I don't know what the hell I want.

I'm generally attracted to guys who play the guitar, though I don't really find guitar playing to be a turn on.

Like, if a guy were to write a song and sing it for me, that would be a nightmare. Actually, my current boyfriend DID write a song for me when we first started dating, and I don't think he ever actually PERFORMED it for me (maybe he did, I may have blocked it out), and it was MORTIFYING. Maybe if I were to meet a guy, and he was some kind of AMAZING songwriter, and he wrote specifically my genre of music, and he told me later that a certain song was about me, THEN I'd swoon. I don't even know about that, though.

Regardless of the song writing, though, I don't even like it when guys play guitar usually. I can't handle THAT GUY who always whips out the guitar at a party. Now, if a guy I were with was a BADASS guitar player, and he just KILLED it every time he played, THAT would be hot. But that's more of a "my boyfriend is a badass, and he's better than other people" sort of thing. It would be the same if he were super proficient at pretty much anything. My current boyfriend is perfectly competent at guitar playing, but every time he starts playing, I'm just like "meeeh" at best.

I played cello from 5th grade until I graduated high school. I wasn't that great at it, but I was okay just because I did it for so long. I wasn't as dedicated to it as I wish I would have been. I still blame this on my middle school orchestra teacher, as she MADE me play the cello because I was tall, and no girls volunteered. I wanted to play the violin. I was relatively opposed to playing the cello, but at that point in my life was too chickenshit to put up enough of a fuss to get my way, so cello it was. Guys, the cello is a PAIN IN THE ASS to play. Especially if you're a girl. That shit is awkward to lug around. It's not THAT heavy, but if you're walking to/from school, it wears on you. Also, it's kind of just not a girly instrument to play. For a girl who was already TALL in middle school, and still relatively tall in high school, and is not RIDICULOUSLY girly in general, it makes you feel even LESS feminine. Every other girl in orchestra is wearing cute little skirts, and you CAN'T because that noise goes RIGHT BETWEEN YOUR LEGS. Or you can wear a floor-length skirt, but then you look like a matronly weirdo, and even then it's still awkward.

Anyway, I wasn't psyched about playing the cello to begin with, because of all of the aforementioned reasons. I eventually gave into it obviously, but I never got SUPER dedicated to it, and again, it was a pain in the ass to handle that thing. To practice, instead of unsnapping a little plastic case, you have to unzip this stupid ungodly cloth bag, adjust this big stupid pin thing, and then you have to tune the shit. TUNING! Tuning a violin is a little scary because the strings are so small and they snap more easily, but tuning a cello was TERRIFYING. The strings are big and thick, and if they snap they can very well smack you right in the face. And that shit HURTS!

I am way, WAY off course. Okay, so I played the cello for, like, ever. My point was, even though I wasn't SUPER DUPER at it, I FUCKING LOVED it when it came down to it. Orchestra (which was a normal class for us, not just an after school activity) was by far my favorite class. And when I was in pit orchestra for our high school musical (our musicals were BADASS, for real), rehearsal was my favorite part of the day. In orchestra I was part of a decently sized cello section and kind of blended in, but in pit it was just two of us, and we sounded GOOD. As incredibly dorky as it sounds, when we'd kill that shit and we knew it, I was PROUD AS FUCK. It was a rush. So I've always been a relatively musical person, and I've been attracted to guys who are musically inclined.

For a while, I decided that I was into guys who played string instruments. The girlier the better. Violin-playing guys? HOT. And really, I still feel that way, but I realized over time that a lot of guys who play string instruments (in general) are pretentious jagoffs. Like, they name-drop classical musicians and quote symphony numbers on Facebook. What! I can't get into that. That's fucking weird. When I was PLAYING classical music, I loved it. When I was playing it. I can't sit around listening to that shit. And if you can, and do frequently, I probably have little in common with you. If I could find a guy who plays the violin like a fucking killer and is also laid back and fucking cool, I'd probably turn into jello. But I've yet to meet such a person.

So, being relatively musical, and liking the sorts of things that I do, I guess I just have chemistry with the type of guy who's "been in a band", but doesn't necessarily actively play music anymore.  And that guy is usually a guitar playing guy. I really had a fluid point when I started this, but I'm tired of writing now. I'm sure you get the jist. We're really bonding here, aren't we!


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