Monday, February 23, 2015

Tough Love

I've been taking a break from blogging (as you've probably noticed), but I've been noticing a pattern lately (or rather, again) of relentless negativity on social media, and I feel the need to address it. It's really...kind of upsetting. Sad. And unnecessary. And it's mostly with people around my age (I grudgingly give a little leniency towards younger people, as they have a tendency to be a tad dramatic), which I find to be alarming. By no means do you need to have your entire life figured out by 30 - or even have your shit together - but if you're still throwing your hands in the air and crying defeat over every little bump in the road by the end of your 20's, I'm afraid you're in for a tough life.

I refuse to believe that the number of people I'm acquainted with with truly terrible lives needs to be counted on more than one hand. I understand that shitty things happen, and sometimes you'll come across shitty people. But dudes, we're grownups. You learn from these things and move on. If every person you encounter is letting you down, then you need to start encountering different kinds of people. If every job you've had turns out in some kind of a disaster, it's not the job that's the problem.

Look, I'm not trying to be some kind of Mary Poppins motivational speaker nag. I'm just saying...okay, maybe I am. You want a better life? Quit your bitching. Do something about it. Change things. You're not helpless, or powerless. Don't just let things happen to you. You want good luck? You have to make good luck happen.

I'm always talking about how lucky I've been. And it's true, I've had several fortunate things happen to me. But you know what? I would absolutely not be where I am today if I went through life with a shitty "whoa is me" attitude. Several years ago, my life was kind of a bummer. I was broke, I was lonely, I was physically in a place I didn't want to be. And I know that if everything seems like a mess, it can be hard to get out of that hopeless state of mind. But listen to me. YOU HAVE TO. You just have to. Because no one wants to help someone who won't help themselves. No one wants to be around someone who's just going to complain about how the world is plotting against them all day. Grow up. Get rid of the losers in your life. Don't BE one of the losers yourself. And don't just talk about it on Facebook (actually, scrap the 'just'.) Get rid of them, get rid of their friends, get rid of anyone like them. Find new friends. Find a new love interest. Or actually, don't. Learn how to be self sufficient, and then maybe think about letting someone in. And sorry, but if your family is bringing you down? Distance yourself from them. This is your life. You're in charge. Don't hang around negative people. They're bumming you out, and you're bumming everyone else out.

Stop blaming the economy and the government on everything. I'm bored with it. Empower yourself. Be responsible. Stop calling out of work. Have a good attitude and work hard, and you'll be successful. That's it. People suck these days. Responsibility and good attitude is a shockingly precious commodity. Don't have a job where you can advance? Go work somewhere else that you can. Can't get a job? Why can't you get a job? Fix whatever's causing that. Go back to school, or don't. I'm a firm believer that if you work hard you can make a very reasonable living without a college education, but by all means if you feel that getting a degree will help you, go for it. Take advantage if your workplace offers tuition reimbursement.

You hate where you live? You have no opportunity there? Move. Oh, you have family? That's cool, they'll still be your family if you move. Don't whine about where you live if you're not willing to do anything about it. Where you live is literally 100% in your control.

Men/women suck? Um, yeah. People are the worst. Be celibate. No? That's silly? Okay, stop dating assholes. Everyone you date is alike? Lucky you! You get to choose who you spend your time with. You're not 20 anymore. Don't be an idiot. If you break up with someone every other week, don't marry them. Why would you marry someone you clearly can't maintain a relationship with? That's literally what marriage is. Maintaining a relationship. FOR LIFE! If you can't stay with someone for more than six months straight, why on earth do you think a shitty ring will cause you to do so? It won't. Don't have a child with someone you don't even like as a person, and then expect this person to be a good parent. That makes no sense. Stop it. And then when you do it, stop complaining about it. You knew this was going to happen.

Finally, stop airing your dirty laundry on Facebook. WE ARE ADULTS NOW. Adults! What good is going to come of announcing every bad thing that happens in your life to casual acquaintances? No one is going to take you seriously. People seriously do use social media to screen job applicants now. That's a well known fact. If you sound like a whiny teenager, no one is going to hire you. Quality people aren't going to want to associate with you. You're adding to what is apparently already not working. Cut it out. Believe me, I know that writing things down helps when you're upset. Start a blog. That way only people that want to read it will, and maybe you'll actually get some constructive feedback. Or hey. Be old school and write in a journal (if you can do that...personally, my hand cramps up after about 5 words these days). Open a word doc and write in that. Whatever! Just don't use Social Media. You know better, I know you do.

Please rest assured that this is not directed at any specific person. I just read about the 40th sad sack Facebook post in the past week and just about lost my mind. This is also not at all why I've been taking a blogging break...though QUITE annoying, this isn't anything that I'm normally extremely preoccupied with. And I know I got a little rant-y there, but my original intention was to just say...hey. It doesn't have to be so hard. Life is legitimately wonderful. Stop lamenting the negative and take a minute to appreciate the positive. If you enjoy the good things you have, life is a pleasure. If you dwell on the things you wish were different and don't even attempt to change them, life is a huge drag. Don't waste your time. Quit being a martyr. Why? I just don't understand why anyone wouldn't want to be happy. It's flabbergasting to me.

Love you guys, for real! Pretend this post is coming from Grooby. You can't be mad at that face! I mean, come on.

1 comment: