I WILL JUDGE YOU IF YOU:
- Are over the age of 8 and drink a glass of milk at a restaurant.
- Or anywhere, other than with baked goods or sweets
- Home-dye your hair
- Listen to country music
- Prefer tea to coffee (Okay, I feel justified in this one. I mean, COME ON.)
- Sleep with socks on
- Use a washcloth for any purpose
- Use bar soap, or have it in your shower
- Use Noxema face cream (not, like, any Noxema products; specifically the cream that comes in a tub)
- Prefer flannel sheets
- OR, even worse, sleep with no sheet at all
- Think it's acceptable to borrow someone's tooth brush under ANY circumstance
- Sleep with a bra on on purpose
- Don't refrigerate your butter
- Or other various condiments (ketchup, soy sauce, mustard, etc)
- DO refrigerate your sandwich bread
- Squirt ketchup all over your fries, instead of dipping them
- Have an outie belly button
I'm seriously having trouble functioning, because now I can't stop thinking about washcloths, and how mind blowingly disgusting they are. I can't handle it. I think if I was to be dating a guy, and he was perfect in every way, and he had a glorious beard and perfect bone structure, if I was to find out he used a washcloth to clean himself it would have to be immediately over.
No joke. I'm done. I'm going to have nightmares about soggy wet washcloths tonight.